There is a
wind blowing uncharacteristically cold and hard for a night in
late May. I am alone with Lucy the Hound from Hell. The Wife has
headed on down the highway to Montreal to bring The Princess of
Pain and all her gear back to her basement apartment from yet
another attempt to strike out on her own. The P of P found it
difficult to obtain employment, another pathetic testimonial to
the bigotry that flows freely in la not so belle province. Why
the hell can't these people just get over themselves? Or separate
and try to make a go of it without the aid of the Canadian taxpayer?
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
Well, the
big prime time TV season is officially done and I'm ready to dole
out kudos and raspberries. On the whole it was not a half bad
season. Unfortunately, TV is suffering from its own version of
Mad Cow Disease called Reality TV. Fortunately though, I manged
to almost completely ignore it, except for the fact that I do
know that the chubby black dude beat out the skinny white one
on American Idol. You'd have to be blind deaf and dumb to miss
that.
As usual, this past season, dramatic programming led the way.
But I do have a couple of comedies to award too.
Okay here we go. We start with some honourable mentions.
THE "BEST SITCOM OF THE
BUNCH" AWARD
Will and Grace.
THE "OTHER BEST SITCOMS OF THE BUNCH" AWARD
Friends & Becker
THE "I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF COM" AWARD
Curb Your Enthusiasm
THE "STILL CRAZY AFTER ALL
THESE YEARS" AWARD
Crocodile Hunter.
THE "COMPLETE ESCAPE ON
A SUNDAY NIGHT" AWARD
Alias
THE "BEST LAW & ORDER"
AWARD
Law & Order C.I.
THE "I DIDN'T CARE FOR IT,
BUT MY SISTER SHARON THINKS IT'S GREAT" AWARD
Hack.
THE "WOULDA COULDA SHOULDA" AWARD
John Doe
Now the contenders:
THE "JUST ABOUT AT THE END OF IT'S RUN AND THAT'S SAD"
AWARD
This goes to The District. Lynne Thigpen, who played the assistant
and resident department statistician to Craig T Nelson's Chief
Jack Manion, died in real life and so they wrote that into the
second last episode of the season and raised the quality of TV
fiction to a new level doing so. It was one of the most touching
things I've seen in a long time. But alas, with Ms Thigpen's loss,
this show will not be the same. If it comes back next season,
it will suffer from a severe chemical imbalance that could prove
fatal by Xmas.
THE "PERSONAL CHOICE BUT
NOT THE BIG KAHUNA" AWARD
This sounds a bit odd, since, I'm really not running a two person
show here. But there you go. CSI Miami. This is the show that
proves to the world that a smartass from New York can carry a
tremendously complex concept on his back and make it look easy.
I love David Caruso in this show. He communicates a controlled
hatred of criminals better than any good guy on TV outside of
his old NYPD Blue partner, Dennis Franz.
THE "MOST IMPROVED VETERAN" AWARD
This one goes to JAG. I admire the fact that they have caused
The Wife a season of agony, wondering when the two principals
will actually admit that they love eachother. And secondly, for
introducing a new forensic element to the show with a CSI type
crew led by Mark Harmon. This bodes well for next season having
a lot more heavily plotted shows which are always more interesting
than the lightly plotted ones.
THE "SAME OLD SAME OLD, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH
THAT" AWARD.
NYPD Blue. I'm getting a little tired of Andy Sipowitz's personal
life taking up almost as much air time as the good old fashioned
crimefighting. But it's still powerfully entertaining TV no matter
which way you slice it.
THE "NICE TRY, I'LL MISS
YOU" AWARD.
This goes to Miracles, the pseudo-religious melodrama starring
Skeet Ulrich, which I will be surprised to see back next season,
but which was a very stylish, dark and entertaining hour in the
supernatural shower, so to speak.
THE "SLIGHTLY MORE RIDICULOUS
THAN LAST YEAR" AWARD
24. This year's 24 hour long show was a real pip. Unfortunately,
I think the very nature of the show makes it extremely vulnerable
to audience erosion and it seemed to be working a bit too hard
in the last half dozen episodes, which got me concerned about
its credibility. Not for me personally, though, because I was
completely hooked and willing to cut it all kinds of slack. But
it's that hint of desperation that knocked it out of the Big Kahuna
repeat category.
THE "NEXT BEST THING TO MAX BICKFORD" AWARD
Everwood Colorado wins this one. There's a lot to be said for
shows that have big time movie stars (like Treat Williams), in
the lead role, playing against type and pulling it off. This is
a solid TV show. Something that's really trying to get across
the everyday beauty of life and for that I applaud it. It's kind
of like The Waltons with one sugar cube instead of half a dozen.
THE "SURVIVING QUITE NICELY
WITHOUT ITS CREATOR" AWARD
The West Wing. We're getting to the top of the heap here. Even
with the departure of series creator and head scribe, Aaron Sorkin,
I still love the pure intelligence of this show. It makes me feel
like there's some hope for the world of TV. Each character is
a like a comfortable old show that I slip on every week. Yeah,
sure, there will never be a president as intelligent as Martin
Sheen's Josiah Bartlett, nor a crew so witty and in control as
his. But goddam it, it's fascinating drama and as forensic as
CSI in its own way.
THE "FELL OFF THE RADAR
FOR NO APPARENT REASON" AWARD
Crossing Jordan. Don't know why I stopped watching this. Maybe
because it was up againbst CSI Miami but I have two VCRs, so that's
not it. Still think that Jill Hennessey is a stone fox, and should
have watched just for that reason alone, so that's not it either.
How about, needed something good to watch when things get desperate
in the summer. That works for me.
THE "QUICKLY FADING FROM
SPUD CENTRAL RADAR" AWARD
Ed. I'm so tired of Ed. Ed is such an asshole. Ed can't make up
his mind which beautiful woman to be in love with when most guys
in America would give their left nut to have their younger homely
sister. Ed is supposed to be smart but doesn't seem to learn a
damn thing from all the life lessons parading before him every
week. Ed is now just a sad cartoon, as opposed to the happy one
it used to be. I think its time to pull the plug on Ed.
THE "POWERHOUSE THURSDAY NIGHT DOUBLE BILL" AWARD
CSI and Without A Trace. These Jerry Bruckheimer productions are
both awesome. CSI just keeps getting better and better as the
characterizations deepen. Without A Trace is in a dead heat with
CSI Miami for best new series. It stars Anthony LaPaglia who is
an FBI missing persons section head who takes his job very seriously.
This show is like an onion that gets more and more interesting
as you peel of the layers of plotting. Bruckheimer definitely
is the new franchise player on the block. I'm dying to see what
he'll have for us next season.
THE "MISSED IT BY A NOSE"
AWARD
The Guardian. As you may recall, last week I laid into this show
for dropping the ball and jumping wildly out of character. Well
this is not without its consequences, because it not only dropped
the ball but it dropped into the #2 slot for Big Kahuna. I'm willing
to forget that next season but not willing to forgive at the moment.
The other thing that this show has to watch out for is something
I call the Curse of The Soap Opera. If it doesn't keep a balance
between the characters being helped and the lawyers, who, each
week seem more and more in need of help, I fear for its ratings.
THE BIG KAHUNA
This supreme honour goes to The Agency. Now, I'm not sure this
is going to be the most popular Big Kahuna choice I've ever made.
But it's my column and my choice, so if you don't like it, you
can lump it. First of all, yeah, it's a propaganda tool for sure.
But, just lately it's taken a little bit of a left turn and started
showing some vulnerability and even some human frailty, (Yikes).
But what's really interesting about this show is the amazing intricacy
of the plotting. There are many, many shades of grey in The Agency,
and it seems like more are layered on each week. This is not necessarily
something the casual viewer would notice, but it is definitely
something the hard core addict (moi, for example), just can't
get enough of. Though it probably isn't, it has the feel of being
very "inside" a secret world that none of us really
know much about. It certainly always looks a lot less glamorous
when something to do with an intelligence agency makes the news,
but I don't care. It's my Kahuna and I'm stickin' to it. See you
next week.
COPYRIGHT 2003 - COUCH POTATO CHRONICLES
