"FEAR
IS THE MIND KILLER"
Frank
Herbert
Author--Dune
In
the great science fiction novel, Dune, the hero, Paul Atraedes must
prove to the world that he is indeed, the new Messiah. In order
to do this he must pass a test. He must stick his hand into a rather
ominous looking black box. That's it. Of course, it's a lot trickier
than it seems on the surface, cause like, who knows what the hell
is in that box? The world was at war and it could have been anything.
It could have been a poison needle or a scorpion or God knows what.
So Paul sticks his hand in the box and it is one of the great moments
of science fiction suspense, and all the while he's chanting to
himself. "Fear is the mind killer...Fear is the mind killer."
And believing that is what helps Paul conquer his fear.
There are times in the life of every Spud out there, when things
get scary. The world is becoming a scarier place all the time. With
super bugs and terrorists who look like our next door neighbours
with the news generating fear to keep us watching and the economy
constantly balancing on a slender thread. It's easy to be afraid.
It's easy to fear the worst. It's easy to wallow in despair. But
then nobody ever said this life was going to be a walk in the goddam
park every day.
Last week the Princess of Pain called from Montreal, where she is
currently hanging her crown. We talked for a few minutes. I was
feeling a bit down because business is slow, or should I say sporadic--nothing
we haven't experienced before, but it's uphill work and it's fatiguing
in that weird way that uphill work can be. But I listened to her
talk about all the stuff she was doing, taking French lessons, applying
for a grant so that her and her bud Lyla can get their TV show going,
looking for work in the local bistros, and she sounded so full of
energy and life and hopefulness and fearlessness, that it kind of
blew my mind a bit. When I hung up the phone, I went outside and
sat on the back steps of Spud Central and thought about that for
quite a while. And then I realized one very simple thing. Fear really
is the mind killer and that fear can sometimes force you into trying
too hard, when maybe all you really have to do is take a deep breath,
relax and simply find your rhythm.
FEAR IS THE SHOW KILLER
The other night, the Wife and I were watching the season finale
of The Guardian. Now The Guardian is a great show. And it was very
high on my list for the Big Kahuna of the 2002-2003 season. As was
24. As are both CSI and CSI Miami, Without A Trace, Alias, The West
Wing, The Agency and NYPD Blue. With the exception of 24 which still
has an episode or two to go yet, I have been thinking about which
show is the most worthy and, you know what? It comes down to my
theme for the week, which is fear.
Let me explain.
You know I have been going on about how the reality shows are threatening
the existence of scripted shows out in TeeVee Land. This isn't a
new threat to anyone working on any of the aforementioned shows
or any scripted show on TV for that matter. It's a real part of
their day to day lives, especially when you're spending a million,
maybe more like two, to shoot each episode and your watching your
ratings get devoured by a seemingly brain dead audience out there
who would rather watch some scruffy-assed homeboy singing a Tom
Jones song (that you never liked when Tom Jones sang it) than something
considerably more entertaining. Fear is the mind killer...So what
do you do? You work and you work and you push and you cajole and
you twist arms and you bend minds and you assert your will and you
lose plenty of sleep and you force the adrenaline level of your
show right up off the charts, because, fear is the show killer or
so you think. But your fear is forcing you to take your characters
where they have no business going. And then a funny thing happens.
Something you maybe didn't count on. All of a sudden your credibility
comes into question with your hard core fans.
Example 1: In 24, at the end of episode 19 or 20, the Kiefer Sutherland
character, Jack Bauer is tortured until his heart stops. Poor Jack.
He's dead. Gonzo. An ex-Jack. The very next episode which, in the
case of 24, is one hour later, Jack's back in action, kicking Muslem
extremist ass and seeking out the terminating bad guys with extreme
prejudice
Just like the pre-dead Jack used to. Sorry, but I lost it right
there.
Example 2: The Guardian. The two main characters played by Simon
Baker and Dabney Coleman, are going to the opera and looking for
a parking place. When they find one somebody slimes in ahead of
them. The long and short of it is, they are both a bit frustrated
about all the shit that's happening to them in their life in Pittsburg,
but do they go to a Steelers game and shout their guts out to relieve
the pressure, like normal red blooded American lawyers? No, they
proceed to open a can of whup-ass on this poor bastard who stole
their parking place and leave him for dead. These guys are lawyers
for chrissakes. It's so out of character it's unbelievable. They
can't do that. But fear is the mind killer and the fear is that
if you don't leave your audience with a slam bang end of the season
dittie to think about the audience, come next season, will all be
tuning into the Mr. Personality II instead. That kind of thinking
is so whack. I wish the creators of The Guardian had seen the Wife,
wwho absolutely loves the Guardian, as she rose up off the couch
and skulked around Spud Central muttering "No, No No !!!",
as she lost it for them. Trust me when I tell you she doesn't care
enough about anything else on TV to do that. Fear is the audience
killer.
Now we're not going to stop watching either of these shows. But
both The Wife and I will never be able to look at them with the
same level of appreciation and admiration we had before the people
who make the shows got frightened into going too far and basically
taking the show out of character.
I know there's a lot of pressure in the production industry. But
when you pull boners like 24 and The Guardian did, something that
a) does nothing but alienate your existing fan base and b) does
nothing to really dissuade the brain dead idiot from continuing
to watch the reality-voyeuristic-flavour-of-the month-on-the-other-channel,
you end up doing your cause much more harm than good.
At a certain point we have to accept that the majority of younger
viewers out there are just not all that bright. These are people
who invented extreme sports. Who think things like safety helmets
are uncool. And who regularly kill and maim themselves imitating
stunts from Jackass, The Movie. They are operating on far fewer
brain cells than the rest of us. A lot of them can't watch plotted
mystery or dramatic shows because their tiny little peanut brains
can't keep up.
You
have nothing to fear from these people. Because they really aren't
in your target audience anyway, especially if you are making any
sort of an intelligent show. What you do have to fear is the backlash
you can create with your existing audience when you take your show
over the edge in an attempt to create controversy which you think
will reach and grab the people watching your competition.
For a lot of you Spuds out there, this is marketing one oh one and
it always seems strange that something so basic seems to get ignored
more than it gets paid attention to, but there you go. It's a C
plus or B minus show business world at the best of times.
Next week, we'll have the network show summary and the Big Kahuna
award. That should be a hoot. Sorry there are no formal reviews
this week. There just hasn't been a lot of stuff worth talking about.
We rented this movie called Lake Boat, which was based on a David
Mamet screenplay and directed by Joe Montagne and it was just awful.
It droned on and on and on about stuff that few people would be
interested in. I guess it would be rated below No Spud for you.
Something like, "Hey, Mr. Mamet, you owe me one spud and the
thirty minutes of my life I invested finding out that you are one
boring screenwriter these days. What happened? You used to be interesting.
We also went to see X-2 the sequel to X-Men and it was full of cheesy
effects and all the same stuff that was in X-Men, but you know,
it was basically a pretty crummy movie too. I really don't want
to waste time on reviewing these things any more, so we'll just
have to wait for some good ones to come along.
Hasta La Vista, my friends. Tune in next week for the year end TV
summary and the coveted Big Kahuna award.
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