CP Chronicle 189

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME BUT THE STREET OUTSIDE SPUD CENTRAL IS FINALLY BARE. LET'S GO PLAY SOME ROAD HOCKEY

As I sit here, we are just about 36 hours short of the beginning of principal photography on a feature film called "Into The Heat", based on a screenplay written by this Spud. It's a fairly complex caper/action/adventure movie that's being made on a budget that I wish was big enough to be called a shoestring budget. But as my pal (and the film's director) Frank Caruso would no doubt agree, it is being made and without a single loonie of government money propping it up. I believe this qualifies Frank for an Order of Canada award or something. Anyway, I'm excited and I'll keep you posted and we trudge on. It's not the first movie that's been produced from one of my screenplays. But it will have no trouble laying claim to the honour of being the best.

8 MILE (TWO SPUDS) (VIDEO)

Ryan, true love of The Princess of Pain, is a man of few words. \But when we were talking about this movie which was the film debut of white hip-hop godlet Eminen, he summed it all up by saying. "The real question is how good will he be in a movie that's not the story of his life? I couldn't agree more.

8 Mile is a dark dingy movie about hopelessness (but not despair), which stars Eminem, Kim Basinger and a bunch of very talented black actors. Even though it's a simple story of a white rapper with a lot of talent trying to essentially make it in a black rapper's world, it really is a kind of weird chapter in the sociology book of America. Set in a raggedy-ass part of Motor City, the life here is about stamping out auto parts by day, rapping in the clubs by night and looking for a way up to the next level of existence 24/7. A lot has been made of Eminem's performance in this film. There's no doubt that he has good presence and is capable of keeping up with many of the more experienced actors in the cast. I personally think that most of rap music is simplistic and derivative, but I think that way about most forms of artistic expression. But Eminem, who wrote every lyric in the movie, is a unique voice in this genre where imitation is the sincerest form of laziness. His command of the English language is awesome. And his ability to do battle with his rhyming talent is the real trick that powers this movie, where words serve as an allegory for weapons and the line between verbal and physical violence is very thin.
8 Mile is one of those screenplays that only someone in that particular life could write. It's a world of working class grunge, where the black population is just a notch above Eminem's trailer trash white folk B. Rabbit character on the food chain.

As a movie, 8 Mile works well because the performances are riveting and the story is pure. There's no over-the-rainbow ending. If anything, it's about the baby steps, patience and persistence that are needed to make it to the top. It's a long, hard glimpse into a life that few of us really know much about. It scared the shit out of me, and made me wonder if I had been born into that world, would I have had the kohones to battle my way out, or would I have just given in and let the greyness swallow me whole? It's a brainteaser for sure. But then it's the job of all good movies to make you think a little bit.

RED DRAGON (TWO SPUDS)(VIDEO)

I'm pretty sure the only reason this movie got made was so that Sir Anthony Hopkins could keep on camping it up big time as Dr .Hannibal Lector, the cannibal/serial killer/mad scientist that the world has come to know and love through a series of a movies that tend to revolve around him.

Red Dragon is a remake of a Michael Mann movie called Manhunter which starred Dennis Farina and William Peterson as the cops and the great character actor Brian Cox as Hannibal. This one stars Edward Norton and Harvey Keitel and, while it doesn't have the visceral docu-drama intensity of the Michael Mann original, it's still a pretty damn good ride for your money.

Red Dragon also stars Ralph Fiennes, (who for some reason insists on having his name pronounced Raif, duh) as the seriously screwed-up serial killer, who appears to be doing his very best Jeremy Irons imitation. This movie was directed by Brett Ratner who is a pretty fair action adventure guy. So it has a lot of great looking scenes in it. There's really not a ton of action per se because it's mostly just a lot of Edward Norton having weird conversations with Hopkins, checking out murder scenes and intuiting conclusions that cause the case to move along. There is a lot of tension and that's very well done. But what the hell. It's a fifty million dollar Hollyweird flick. I personally thought Manhunter was a better film, but that's just because I'm a bigger Michael Mann fan than I am a Brett Ratner fan, I guess. But I still liked this one. It was as solid as these kinds of movies get, and lets face it, we just can't seem to get enough of old Hannibal the Cannibal.

MAID IN MANHATTAN (NO SPUD4U)(VIDEO)

Romantic comedies are the hardest damn things to do. That's why you can count the great ones on your fingers and toes. The ones that suck are, well let's say, they're a lot more plentiful.

Now what makes a romantic comedy suck boils down to one word, for this Spud at least, and that is authenticity. There are two parts to this: 1. In order for you to feel anything at all for the people involved in the romance, you first have to believe that they actually have something in common with real people. 2. The situation that causes the actual romance to begin isn't based on some kind of bullshit premise.
Romantic comedies that fail in either 1 or 2 above of the aforementioned categories will often end up in the one spud heap if they are well acted or directed. But movies that fail on both counts end up, well, right down there with Maid In Manhattan.

Maid In Manhattan is a complete and utter Hollyweird fabrication, that turns Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Feinnes (pronounced Raif, don't forget) into cardboard cutouts, dresses them up, has them brought together by one of the worst kid actors I have ever seen, in a 'this would never, ever, ever happen' scenario, triggered by a way too happy older hotel maid. This movie is an ice cube sitting on a sidewalk in a heatwave. It just melts away right before your eyes. I left after exactly 30 minutes because I was starting to feel the need to hurl and I would never want to give the producers of this crap the
satisfaction. My parting comment to the Wife, who seems to like this kind of stuff, good or bad was, "I can't stand watching it, but I do wish I could write it. (That was Spud sarcasm.)

My pal and former partner Dan Floyd lives in London, Ontario but thanks to the internet we can actually work together again and have been for a while. Danny loves the movies. Here's his review of Gangs Of New York. Remember, he's an art director, and they work with writers for a reason. (Just kidding, Dan).

DANNY FLOYD GOES TO THE MOVIES

Mur:
Well, finally got off my butt and went to see "Gangs of New York". Wow!
Overall, I really LIKED IT, but I certainly wasn't blown away. Allow me to explain: I'm the kind of guy who goes to a movie for the experience...the experience of escaping from everyday bullshit of the war, SARS, paying bills and chasing clients, etc.,

I don't really follow any set directors or actors, although I do pay attention when Johnny Depp's, Kevin Spacey's or now, Daniel Day-Lewis' name is on the bill. But I do read about movies of this genre before I venture out. That way I can be ready for the"eye-candy" type visuals when they appear. Plus it helps me follow the general story line and purpose of the movie before I draw conclusions.
This movie is obviously a big screen movie and so is Daniel Day-Lewis' role. A while back, I heard a CBC reporter do her review of the movie and she basically said that Lewis had gone way over the top in his role, to which I disagree! He was freakin' scary!!!! I really loved all the secondary characters as well... Butcher's 2nd hand guy that DiCaprio fist-fought, who was Billy Elliot's dad & the guy who played the Police constable in "Chicago" and others. These are, in my opinion, the actors who make the movie. And the sets, lighting and editing. THE BEST was evident here!

Now, those other key actors" DiCaprio & That chick" Geesh.. there were moments where I couldn't look anymore, hell, there was a moment when Ithought I was back on the Titanic. What was Scorsese thinking??? Casting these jerks? Well, I guess he had to put his commercial hat on and bow tothe producers for they probably wouldn't have let him make the movie he did with such power, without casting these two bimbos in order to draw the brain dead heads that think they actually understand movies like this. They go for the nude scenes and gore any ways. Guys like you and me go to see if the blood is actually real looking and therefore convincing...and that's the challenge these movie makers must realize..otherwise they will get nasty letters from all the armchair reviewers in the world! The little things I loved...when The butcher taps his glass eye..ooooo! and the opening scene..how did they find room to place the steady cams and crew??? The end scene too, over the grave yard, watching it age as New York grows. Neat little contrast. Full points !!! I stayed through the credits and loved U2's track. Nice wrap up!

AN EMAIL FROM WILLOW

Willow is a friend of The Boy, The P of P and The Wife too. She sent The Wife this email which I thought I would pass along to you because if there is anything a good Spud can do, it's see the irony in most situations. I leave it with you as a parting thought...

"You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don't want to go to war!"

COPYRIGHT 2003, Jim Murray COUCH POTATO CHRONICLES